I have a little bone to pick. How come I didn't get first refusal on researching and writing the boating-from-inn-to-inn story in this issue? I know it was Paul Clancy's idea and all, but have
I not made it abundantly clear that I get first refusal on any story that involves
(1) playing golf, (2) eating crabcakes, (3) trying out expensive and well insured boats, (4) singing a duet with Placido Domingo, or (e) staying at lovely waterfront bed-and-breakfast inns?
Really now, is that so hard to remember? It must be, because there is ol' Clancy's byline, big as life, on the opening spread of said inn-hopping story ["It Does a Body Good," page 24]. And there he goes, gallivanting around beautiful Mobjack Bay with his wife Barb, staying at two lovely old inns and just being all show-offy about it, in my opinion.
"After our dinner and conversation," he says of their stay at the historic Inn at Warner Hall on the Severn River, "Barb and I retreated to our room, 'Bacon's Retreat,' with its . . . full baths, closets with terrycloth bathrobes, antique furniture, high ceilings." See what I mean about show-offy? It gets worse. Not only was the estate's 17th-century founder, Augustine Warner, an ancestor of both George Washington and Robert E. Lee, he is also a distant relative of England's own Queen Elizabeth II. Oh, puh-leeze, Paul! That's laying it on a little thick, isn't it?
From there the Clancys moved on to the North River Inn, a collection of guesthouses on yet another 17th-century estate, where they had yet another marvelous visit. "When we awoke in the morning," Paul writes, "it slowly dawned on us that the bustle we heard and smells we smelled were not an artifact of a pleasant dream, but were coming from the kitchen. . . . [The innkeepers] soon joined us at Creek House for fruit, scones, savory Virginia bacon and a wonderful egg creation. . . . " See what I mean? That's just rubbing it in. He knows how much I love scones.
So anyways, no disrespect, I'm thinking some people might want to tone
down the braggadocio, go easy with the scones and the antiques and the Queen Elizabeth and whatnot. I mean, we go way back, me and Paulie Ragbags, and I am not what you would call a vindictive type of individual, but I do know some guys who know some guys who could . . . well, let's just say that for these fellas B&B means "bada" and "bing," if you get my drift.
What's that you say? Paulie just called to tell us his sailboat,Ode to Joy, has developed mysterious and uncharacteristic engine problems, and he may have to reschedule his next feature story? Gee, that's a shame. . . . Wait, you think I had something to do with that? Don't be ridiculous. I'm just sayin' people should be careful and remember who's who around here and maybe think twice about snatching up stories that certain other people might want to do. That's all I'm sayin'. No disrespect.